Change + Acceptance


It never ceases to amaze me how much I don’t know about life. Every day brings new challenges, new joys and new adventures. Some days it feels as though this rocky rollercoaster that we are on just won’t stop. And the funny thing is, when it does stop, or at least pauses for a moment, that’s the moment when I feel most excited for the next big drop.

The hubby and I have been married for 4 years this May and our married life, as in our dating life, is full of never-ending surprises. We have frustrating daily surprises like broken down cars and doctor bills. Yet, at the same time, we are constantly being blessed with meals to get us through finals week or an unexpected check in the mail to treat ourselves to a night out. These past four years we have come to realize time and time again just how great God is and how blessed we are in Him.

These past few weeks it seems everyone in our family has had to make difficult decisions and come to some unexpected conclusions (more on this soon). When this happens, my usual response is to curl up in a ball and hide under the covers. To a certain degree I could get away with this while living under my parents’ roof. However, when the roof is your own, you have to put on your big girl pants and man up. This is not the easiest of lessons to learn and I constantly feel as if my progress is in a two steps forward, one step back rhythm. However, I suppose as long as I’m moving forward in the long-run, I’m doing alright.

Anyways, the point is, when so much change takes place at once, it sometimes easy to lose focus and forget what’s really important. This time next year, we could be moving to one of 7 cities if the hubby gets into a PhD school. If he doesn’t get in, we can go wherever we want, which is definitely the more terrifying option for me. You want me to choose from anything I want? And… cue meltdown.

So, what should I be doing now? Well, the hubby will be applying to schools in the Fall and I will most likely be applying to graduate programs or jobs (or both) in those cities as well. We won’t know anything until March next year, a mere 2 months before graduation, so until then I have a few options…

Option #1: Panic and overthink every possible situation that may arise.
Option #2: Panic and curl up under the covers. (My favorite)
Option #3: Know that the next year will continue to be a riveting rollercoaster of a ride, enjoy the ride, and trust that whatever comes next will be exhilarating, worthwhile and right.

Yeah, I know, number three is the winner, it sounds so simple and yet we all know it’s so much easier said than done. However, that is where I am choosing to put my focus–waiting and trusting that what is meant to be, will be, one way or another. Like I said at the beginning, I know very little about life so why waste time trying to decipher every last detail when I could be enjoying them all.

If you’ve made it this far, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me through this brief hiatus from our usual postings. After a long and taxing week, writing out my scrambled thoughts has a very therapeutic effect. Perhaps you too find yourself facing unexpected changes today. If that’s the case, I encourage you to stand strong and keep pushing forward.